Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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