remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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