No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
