can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
