im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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