Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
