So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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