just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
