Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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