Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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