Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
