I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
