just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
