it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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