Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
