ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
