You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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