Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
