So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
