woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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