living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
