Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
