So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
