You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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