please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
