hotel room ftw
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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