it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
