Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
