PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
