Welp...herpes.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
