That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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