saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
