why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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