God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Alive.
So much puke
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize
