My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
