Will you blow on my dice?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
