how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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