who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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