Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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