Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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