oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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