Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
