She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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