I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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