rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
