I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize