Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
