bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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