And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize