My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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