ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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