I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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