Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
