WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
