Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
