y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
