I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
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