Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize