wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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