yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
