you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
