Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
