tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
