thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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