My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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