I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
