we're chasing vodka with high fives
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
