You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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