I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
