This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
