haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
