sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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