he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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