but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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