The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
